By Nuren Nawar
Many of the stereotypes we see associated with South Asian people are associated with their careers. They are expected to be bright and use their life to its potential. Simply, after graduating, sitting at home without a career is not an option and sooner or later, you will be recognized as a “disappointment”. Being someone who is South Asian, it is a lifelong process to keep up with my parents’ expectations as well as my own. Often, many South Asian children express their lives as a cycle of expectation and guilt. From academics, this cycle of expectation and fulfilling wishes branches towards relationships, marriage and career choices. Why is this the norm?
The high academic expectations in a South Asian household are rooted from historical and cultural context. Education has been viewed as a pathway towards success and economic stability. As there is a high poverty population throughout South Asia, education serves as a plan to break free, making it a priority for families.
Economic factors also play a prominent part. Many countries in South Asia have a large population with limited resources, making competition for educational opportunities tough. In such an environment, academic success serves as a critical determinant of one’s future prospects. This is why procedures such as the quota system in Bangladesh are looked down upon. As 30% of government job seats were once secured towards children and grand-children of veterans, it completely dismisses the efforts of those attaining seats through merit. Unjust systems like this one lead to tougher competition.
In South Asian societies, education is linked to social status and prestige. Degrees from prestigious institutions and careers in fields such as medicine, engineering, and law are highly valued and seen as markers of success. This cultural emphasis on academic achievement and professional success is often internalized by children from a young age, creating a powerful drive to meet these expectations.
Many South Asian parents have made significant sacrifices to provide their children with educational opportunities and ultimately, a better quality of life. The sense of responsibility to honour their parents’ sacrifice lies heavily on children, contributing to feelings of guilt and obligation to respect their wishes. This dynamic creates a cycle where children strive to meet their parents’ immeasurable expectations, fearing disappointment and failure. As well, this cycle comes with one filled with guilt-tripping. Often, parents will remind their children what they have done as a way to emphasize their losses to make sure their children gain. This form of manipulation serves as immense pressure to succeed. Additionally, parents use comparison to shape their kids into someone who is “better”. To parents, when they tell their children to be more like someone else’s child, they think they are helping. Instead, when parents compare, it slowly deteriorates the mental health of their children and contributes to questioning their self-identity. The relentless pursuit of academic success can have significant mental health implications. Many South Asian children experience stress, anxiety, and burnout as they strive to meet their parents' expectations. The fear of failure and the stigma associated with not achieving can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression. This intense pressure can also affect self-esteem and personal well-being, creating long-term emotional and psychological challenges.
Academic expectations in South Asian households are deeply rooted in cultural, economic, and social factors. While these expectations can drive achievement and success, they also create significant pressure and emotional strain. As awareness of mental health issues grows, there is hope for a more balanced approach that values not only academic and professional success but also personal happiness and well-being. By fostering an environment that is inclusive and supportive, children can thrive both academically and emotionally.
Comments